D'Arcy from Winnipeg
Solution Architecture, Business & Entrepreneurship, Microsoft, and Adoption

Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

Thursday, June 25, 2009 2:39 AM

*Warning: While I don’t give away spoilers, I do mention aspects of the movie that may give away certain aspects of the plot…but its nothing you couldn’t gleam from either the trailers or by reading Robert Ebert’s review. Just sayin’…
*

I have just come from two and a half hours of visual adrenaline being thrust into my brain through my eyes, and yes the experience *was* as sexy as I just made it sound!

I went in to Transformers 2 with very low expectations. For one, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first one. I understand that movies need to sometimes do a retelling, but I felt that certain aspects of the first broke with cannon…like how the Cybertronians just scan a vehicle and can transform into it, instead of the original story of the Arc designing them specifically for a certain mechanism. Like, seriously, how do you bring in the Dinobots in this retelling? Did they just *scan* a Triceretops?

Ok…I’m getting off topic here…let me bring it back to my point: low expectations. Especially after reading Roger Ebert’s scathing review of the movie. I read his review and thought “Oh no, this is going to be a gong show.” Luckily, its just that Roger Ebert is OLD and NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE for this movie. Roger Ebert should never, EVER review a movie like this again. After seeing the movie, I’ve decided his review is the equivalent of an old man yelling at the kids to get off his lawn.

So let’s talk about the movie. This is absolutely a 4/5 show. The action sequences are fantastic…and there really isn’t a lot of screen time that *isn’t* an action sequence. Yes, some of the scenes are a bit weird but you have to remember that this is a movie franchise that doesn’t take itself too seriously. So in addition to the big transforming robot aliens, Shia LaBeouf’s mom *may* end up eating pot-laced brownies; GO WITH IT!

You also need to look past the humanesque aspects of some of the robot characters. Yes, it doesn’t make sense that the “twins” talk like two members of the Weyans family…and yes, the “doctor” robot acting like the doctor is a little silly…and yes the toy truck robot that eventually humps Meagan Fox’s leg like a dog is a whole lotta WTF…but for whatever reason it all worked, mainly (again) because this isn’t *meant* to be a serious movie…although at the same time, its not a parody either.

There was some interesting borrowings from other movies, like Total Recall, Terminator 3, and Baywatch (Meagan Fox running in the desert in slow motion…get my drift?). Whether intentional as a tip of the hat or just borrowed ideas, nothing really felt all that out of place here.

Now, I did only give this 4/5, so what about that missing star? Well, for me there were two things that made me roll my eyes and also made me feel like the roller coaster ride ended too soon (even after 2.5 hours).

Many will comment on this being an extended advertisement for auto manufacturers. Oh no, not at all. This was an extended advertisement for THE US ARMY/NAVY/AIRFORCE! I get it…this is an American movie, but COME ON! Decepticons attack all over the world, and each time its the American military that swoops in to save the day? Did they come up with some new agreement with China to allow this to happen? And seriously, the Transformers should be pissed that there was almost as much face time for the USA forces as there was for the robots themselves. Throw in a military element, but more robo-transforming, less camos and machine guns.

The second item was the ending. While I won’t give away the ending, I felt it was a little anticlimactic. I wanted a big fight at the end, but what we got was meh…not bad, but just not spectacular. See the movie, tell me if you feel the same way.

So go and enjoy…unless you’re old like Roger Ebert…then DON’T go to this movie, its not for you.

D




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# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

i would have to agree with you about the ending i thought that it was a little flaky. The movie was awsome all the way through, but predictable at times, none the less it was a great Transformers movie. Non stop action and great acting by the cast made this movie well worth the $14.75 that i paid to see it in the IMAX. as for Megan Fox my wife had to hand me the napkin a couple of times to wipe the salivia off my face. i am glad to see that this movie unlike othere this year used a woman of legal age to appeal to sexual draw of the typical red blooded male to help drive up the ticket sales. The one thing that i did not like about the two transformer movies is the fact that the U.S. Military was too involved, i am not bashing the Military for i am a former soilder myself, but look at the tv shows and the comics. I ask that you try to stay a little more true to the storyline of the transformers. I will wait to see how transformers 3 turns out July 1, 2011 (Paramount& DreamWorks stated release date) 6/27/2009 9:15 PM | stayevowe

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

I grew up with Transformers and this movie was horrendous. The entire movie was filled with eye roll moments (any sequence with Sam's parents for starters.) Turning a Decepticon into a Terminator 3 clone - Michael Bay has no conscience!

Any fan old enough to remember the cartoon would know the stories had reasonable sophisticated and coherent plot lines.

If you're not a fan, then the action sequences and for Meghan Fox will be enough for you to enjoy it. As a fan of the series - you're stuck. You have to watch it and it's 144 minutes of a complete mess. 6/28/2009 6:52 AM | ChatRan

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

This movie was two and a half hours of painful cheese, punctuated by lewd attempts at humor. I want my money back. I grew up with Transformers, and this is fail. Roger Ebert was spot on in his review, and if I had checked it before I visited the local theater, I would have saved $11.50.

Have you ever seen The Marine? Every five minutes, the main character is jumping away from an explosion. This movie is comprised of explosions, pointless fighting (too close up to comprehend), bad lines, and incomprehensible "plot."

Please avoid this movie. If you're still interested, do not waste your time in the theaters. Download it from a torrent site.

6/29/2009 12:07 AM | Tyler S.

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

Get off my lawn! 6/30/2009 1:21 PM | Robz

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

Megan Fox FTW!! 6/30/2009 1:23 PM | Robz

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

"Any fan old enough to remember the cartoon would know the stories had reasonable sophisticated and coherent plot lines. "

LOL, yes, like:

* Autobots deciding they want to be famous actors
* Moving Spike's brain into a robot
* "The Girl Who Loved Powerglide"
* Atlantis rising from the ocean
* Kids building their own Transformer out of a science project

Sure, I don't think TF2 was Masterpiece Theatre, but let's not go pretending that a children's cartoon show from the 1980s was some sort of amazing work of art.
7/1/2009 12:41 AM | Let's Get Real Here

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

Yes, because he is old he can't enjoy a movie. However just because he is old does not take out the fact that this movie was poor in everything it does.
-Story: What story? People die, they go to robot heaven they come back and win the end.
-Characters: Why do the transformers fight with their fists? WHY OH WHY
I could keep going with this but I won't.
The movie is bad, the plot is utter nonesense, and the transformers (to me) are a disgrace to their origins.
Roger Ebert knew what he was saying when he wrote that review. (he actually enjoyed the first one on the grounds with which you protect this movie with) I agree with him, it's utter nonsense and CGI with no heart, no soul, no laughs, no anything. 2/4/2010 11:46 AM | Xirbtt

# re: Transformers 2 Review – Or – Screw You Roger Ebert!

Roger Ebert sucks and needs to get a life 6/30/2011 8:57 PM | Gtag

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